You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize