He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize