Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah i got into a fight with my man last night

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  why can't men just shut up and put out?

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  (860): he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep (860): yeah i got into a fight with my man last night (860): why can't men just shut up and put out? http://tfl.nu/05si
  Replies (60) Good night (2471) Bad night (2028)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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  (239): So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life. http://tfl.nu/5out
  Replies (14) Good night (5248) Bad night (881)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.

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  (505): you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage. http://tfl.nu/iczm
  Replies (28) Good night (4217) Bad night (1027)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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  (607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8
  Replies (18) Good night (7615) Bad night (1478)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

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  (330): Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. http://tfl.nu/sdp2
  Replies (8) Good night (5381) Bad night (1016)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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  (802): I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me. http://tfl.nu/p69o
  Replies (11) Good night (1156) Bad night (3104)
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  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (781) Bad night (2212)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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  (815): i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning. http://tfl.nu/0ff2
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (2053)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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  (901): Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/jvs2
  Replies (7) Good night (704) Bad night (1209)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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  (440): Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick? http://tfl.nu/vf93
  Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (463)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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  (480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82
  Replies (4) Good night (573) Bad night (926)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.

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  (601): Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried. http://tfl.nu/j3wq
  Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (563)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.

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  (832): MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM. http://tfl.nu/jvd2
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (162)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint

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  (734): Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint http://tfl.nu/7p3b
  Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (144)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina

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  (443): So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina http://tfl.nu/qg34
  Replies (9) Good night (184) Bad night (806)

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