I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.