So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy