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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)

  (678): View more from Georgia

  cunt.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.

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• (661): View more from California

  I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night

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• (475): View more from Connecticut

  his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy

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