i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
