it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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