Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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