Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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