I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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