my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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