This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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