he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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