A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
