he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize