I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
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Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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