Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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