is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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