I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
