he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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