i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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