Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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