fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were destined to go to rehab together
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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