I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
