I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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