The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
As shirtless as possible
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
