Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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