I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize