You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
