Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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