Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
