my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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