hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
