After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
