theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We talked him into tasing himself.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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