I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack