he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME