In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
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I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.