is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions