Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
