wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?