if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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