Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌