I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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