We named our party play list daddy issues
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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