I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....