Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
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He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.