he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.