Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more