the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)