just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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