actually, I'm a sock model
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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