Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
