so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize