Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
