Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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