His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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