im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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