The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body