What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"