At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i barfeds in our rink
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.