Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just forgot I was standing up.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?