i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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