a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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